I drew an old man earlier tonight. Before that I ate a turkey sandwich, with garlic pita chips. Twenty minutes before opening a bottle of Reed’s Ginger Brew I was helping Abdullahi through the halls of Eastern Heights to his bus ride home. One hour before picking up a pile of legos from off the floor, I was playing a word game with three five-year olds – I mustered as much patience as I could and somehow I got it through two hours with a rotating class of kindergartners without losing my cool. Upon walking down the street I quarrelled whether I should wait inside the coffee house until someone left the free computers w/ internet, or keep moving. I have noticed how much patience, concentration and focus I have since losing my headphones. I no longer listen to my iPod anymore when I walk around town, the piece of machinary does not rule my life to wreck my earbuds. My attention to the sounds of life is zeroing in on the splash, the piece of conversation caught off guard, the screeching of brakes and the twittering of birds; different noises to intrude into my brain rather than FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUC KFUCK.
I did not want to wake up today, but I nonetheless felt comfortable and willing to go through another day. The sense of dread and hopelessness is always there, I only knew I could deal with it today without much stress. The alarm went off right before I turned it off. Somewhere in the middle I became an hour less than what I imagined.
